Just when I thought life was turning for the better, I was wrong. It turns out actually the problem is always there but I haven't really been doing anything to make it better. My Dad doesn't want to pay for my school stuff because he thinks that I am still going to play. He say I have been mixing with guys, smoking. Come on, I am like 17 this year. I don't hang out with guys anymore? And so what if I do? Catch me 3 years back and I will tell you I am sorry but fuck not now. I'm sorry that I smoke, its not as if I don't want to quit. My thinking isn't the same anymore, it ain't like before where I can tell everybody things. Smoking is really to release stress, I know it may seem that I am talking cock but apparently I can don't smoke if life isn't that bad for me now. I know that its bad, I don't want it either. If only words could tell it all.